A bad mood is often the reason for blaming
others; but very often blaming others causes bad feelings in us: the more we
blame others, the worse we feel.
One of our most common and widespread prejudices
is that every person has a fixed, special characteristic, that there are kind
people and evil, clever people and stupid people, and cold or hot people. But
people are not like this; we can say about a person only that he is more often
kind than evil, more often clever than stupid, more often cold than hot. We always
divide people like this, but it is no less wrong.
If there is animosity between two people,
both are to blame. Any number you multiply by zero, however big, will equal
zero. If there is animosity, then, it is the animosity of two people toward each
other, and it exists in both of them.
Try to understand and remember that a person always tries to do what is best after such mistakes. If you remember this, then you
will never be useless by anybody, you will never reproach anybody, and you will
never be an enemy to anybody.
— After Epictetus
If you are living with another person, make
an agreement that as soon as
either of you starts to blame the other, you will end the argument.
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